Love or affection - How can you tell?

The ability of human love manifested in the way he treats his neighbor as generally communicates with people. If you are going to build a family with someone who is very dear to you, but other rude and aggressive, keep in mind - "come and your time." The divine, unconditional love means that first of all we love the human soul, and the body - preferably not even the second. If we "love" in the first body, the external achievements of man, his sexuality, it is not love, passion, affection.

We begin to depend on this person to grow together with them, which leads to disruption of energy, there is a great fear of losing this man, we want him to swear us in the "eternal" love. In this way, the love that is the source of an increasing bliss turns in attachment, aggression is born, and this leads to the claims, grievances and consumer attitudes.

A consumer attitude to man and the world in general, quickly leads to hellish life. The passion, affection - time, it is the desire to firmly clamp the lover in his arms (not to be confused with a tender embrace a truly loving people) and does not produce, constantly communicating more and more sex with him (in the case of romantic attachment), to receive more and more "enjoy a relationship." From a philosophical point of view, we try to dissolve in a person, in the time of his shell instead of God. But the real love - is primarily a return, care, service, the desire to make love object happy, giving love object definition of freedom, respect for a certain distance in a relationship with him understanding that we have a temporary happiness to be together, it will take a few years or a maximum number of lives.

It's such an inner fullness of love, especially when you do not depend on external behavior of people around them and try to get them to "love." Love - a state and not an act, it only manifests itself through action. You understand that love can be experienced only when we serve, sacrifice without self-interest, so his love for all those who gets in your field of influence (parents, children, spouse, colleagues and passers-by, the robbers), you show in different ways (burglar, for example, you are helping to stop sinful activities can even be violent, but on the inside keep the love and see in it a part of God). One of the greatest geniuses of modern psychology, Abraham Maslow said that there are two kinds of love: - deficiency of love - it selfish love when people just want to get something. The more satisfied the needs of the individual, the more enhanced by this type of love. This love is based on the need for self-esteem, sex, fear, loneliness, and so on. D. - Existential love - love for the essence of other creatures.

This love is not of a proprietary nature; it has a real attitude of non-interference; it provides around to be so, it is, without seeking something to improve or modify; the desire to serve. This type of love can contribute vertex experiences. Love includes both pain and pleasure at the same time. Pain - is a victim, care, assistance, separation, and so on.. But it was breaking up, and an understanding of the relationships enable us to not become attached to the object of "love" in this world. By the way, if we sacrifice, caring for others from the heart, without attachment, then we get a great inner satisfaction. Also, if we go through the right internal freedom from attachment and dependency, we experience a great happiness and bliss, many times superior pleasure that we receive from the satisfaction of the senses, we have opened a lot of creative abilities. On a spiritual level, even the pain brings pleasure, for the Divine, unconditional love above duality, and this love is the greatest source of bliss - ananda. But the passion, lust - the desire to receive pleasure only and avoid negative emotions. And the stronger the desire, the passion, the more aggression if a person does not achieve what wanted, or if something is not in his plan. Then the relationship with other people cause severe pain. This level of relations saying: "From love to hate - one step." Such a person can not tolerate the pain as much as possible avoid negative emotions. A family and children require care service, so selfish hates children, family and of all who need to serve and to give. And then he rushes to where reigns only delight the senses: parties, computer games, movies with scenes of violence and sex, pornography novels, alcohol, drugs. And he constantly need to increase the dose.

The nature of such a person degrades, he becomes more and more jealous, selfish, greedy, lust, irritable, resentful, sad, able to easily deliver. It is likened to a cancer cell. Included is such a scheme: 1. Affection -> 2. The claim, condemnation -> 3. Aggression, hatred, anger -> 4. Destruction, often not only themselves but also others. But "positive" emotions that are not from the heart, not from a desire to sacrifice and give and not based on God's love, there is an unpleasant moment. This state is like a pendulum. 

The more a man "enjoyed" the greater was the slave of his senses, the stronger the "positive" emotions experienced, the stronger its pendulum after some time will swing in the opposite direction - and, therefore, the stronger the negative emotions, inner desolation, depression. And if people try it "overcome" through hard drugs, too much alcohol and so on - it will be a 4th stage, which rise almost impossible.

A good example is the Hollywood star: life is more violent than they have, it's hard to imagine but it ends in the vast majority of them early enough: drugs, antidepressants, and so on. d., and happy couples who were able to build a family home and raise children adequately, is negligible. Divorced as soon as decreased sexual desire, or begin the slightest difficulty in relationships ... It is a pity that these primitive creatures are idols to millions of people ... I advised the music and movie stars in Los Angeles, and in Russia and in other countries, and I know This is not hearsay - although I must admit that, especially in Russia more truly spiritual people in the arts.

The only way out for these people - is restrictive, following the commandments, service, communication with generous people ... But as a rule, such people prefer psychologists, educators, religious false teachers who say, "Do not limit your desires, love yourself, enjoy yourself." Love yourself - it means to be a slave to his senses. It is important to replace the claim and conviction in the spirit of Thanksgiving, the full adoption of any internal developments, any person. Without this it is impossible to achieve unconditional love, because if a man does not accept inwardly someone or something - is a form of aggression to God, a single whole, the Absolute. And this is a quick way to destruction, self-destruction. The more a person is able to endure the pain, the more it is able to act without self-interest in nature, the greater the depth of love, he is able to experience, the more love he is given in life, the more it opens possibilities.


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